Concentrated Worrier

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  I worry too much.

About my schooling, my spiritual life, my appearance, my physical ability, my blog. Almost everything that enters in my life, I tend to worry about it. It’s a bad habit that at times consumes me. I may start to develop early signs of wrinkles because I worry and then I worry about that. Will I get wrinkles prematurely? Am I using good enough moisturize? Am I putting enough on at night?

Welcome to my mind.

 My worrying streams on and on, onto things that really do not matter. I am bad at giving myself realities checks, instead going to my Mom for comfort. Moms are there to reassure and tend to our hearts, but honestly I need to be able to reassure myself without my Mom sometimes. I am almost an adult now and I need to learn how to check up on myself and learn to reel in the worrying.

A great family friend of mine gave me this verse when I told him that I was nervous about my permit test. He told me to look up Matthew 33-34.

This is what I got:

"33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

These words speak directly to my soul every time I see them. God knows the past, the present, the future and every thought on my mind that is bothering me. I need to give my worries to Him because without it, I can only do so much being a human. I am powerless, but God is powerful. I am small, but God is the Universe. He has everything in His control that I do not need to worry because my Father knows what He’s doing. I would guess worrying and trust go hand in hand for me. Not trusting God with my worry. Not trusting God that He is handling everything and knows all the outcomes.

But as Matthew says “Seek first his kingdom”. If I go to God each and every time, any time I am worrying, bringing it to God, that He will cover me and guide me. That is my ultimate calm. God knows my heart and the things I lack, the problems that taunt me. God knows and that is why He is there. Because he is righteous.