Beautifying Ourselves

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

Psalm 139: 13

     I've spent many hours getting myself ready in front of the mirror to look “captivating" for a guy. I tried to perfect my curly mass of hair and make myself visually thinner so I would be more appealing. My stomach would churn as the distance between my crush and I got smaller and smaller until we were almost face to face. It was my hope for his attention that was painfully obvious by the detail I went through on getting myself ready for this moment.

    Then hope is utterly crushed when he doesn't look at me.

     It’s defeating when I leave, hope draining out like a popped balloon. The time spent mustering up all the beauty God created and hoping to get noticed by it. Get some kind of attention from this person. But when it feels like they don’t see, it feels as if I’m not adequate.

     Every once and a while, I need to reevaluate myself. For example, obsessing over an appearance for a person who I have feelings for and not getting what I wanted from them. I need to take a mental step back from all the energy I've put towards this and see how it’s affecting my life.

      The person could be a great person, but I shouldn't let their disinterest (or at least just not seeing me) be a fault on my part. If they aren't attracted to me then I can’t force it.

     What my point is, it is that when I put makeup, clothes, jewelry on in the morning, it should be for me. Not for someone else, but for me and what I prefer. There’s a scene in a movie where a woman is shopping in a store and comes upon an elegant night dress. Her friend shopping with her encourages the woman to buy it, but the woman says in a rather sad voice, “For who?”

     The friend replies with, “For you.”

     For you. 

     The problem I face is that I should want to look pretty for myself and if someone notices, than I’m flattered. I need to reevaluate my thoughts in the morning and put them in a different direction. What makes me feel beautiful, captivating and stunning?

     For some people, this is easy to do because they are confident or just don’t pressure on themselves. They are enjoying the process of picking out their clothes and applying their makeup with no grand expectations on how the world will respond to their appearance. 

     Than there can be people like me who make up themselves for the person they like. It shouldn't be that way entirely; it should be about making yourself beautiful because you are beautiful.

     If you do have a boyfriend and want look pretty for him, than that’s okay. I’m not discouraging that, it’s just the fact that when we focus all our time and energy for the acceptance and attention of a person.

So, if you like spa days take a spa day and get refreshed. If you like painting your nails, paint them with your favorite polish.  If you like shorts over dresses or are the opposite, wear it because you like them. Don’t wear them for a boy. If he’s the one for you, then he will see your beauty the moment you enter the room. He will see past the makeup on your face and see the true spirit God made you. Simply be beautiful because you were made with a beauty that is unique and shows itself no matter what you are wearing.