Parent Pressure

 For you created my inmost being; 
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful, 
    I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

  How far will I go to improve myself? That was the question that loomed in the air for almost every man and woman that has grown up in a society of trying to maintain perfection. As the technology has advanced and so did expectations, new questions seemed to arise. What we thought we’d never see seemed to happen before our eyes. Mothers seemed to ask their selves, how far will I go to perfect my child? Children in this generation are being born into a world with many high standards. They don’t go a breath without the world waiting for them to exceed their requirements. What can seem like nothing can be everything.

  Being a toddler is the last time of your life to be absolutely carefree before reality grows up with you. A wonderful time to screech with delight and run around naked in the backyard, not knowing the time of innocence is coming to a close even sooner then it did generations before. Have you been in the mall lately? Or turned on the TV? Everywhere we go, children’s clothes seem to be loosing less and less their charm along with the fabric. I have seen small girls walking around in mini skirts, something I wouldn’t even dare to wear myself. Society is selling children’s clothes with a certain flare that is being more and more introduced. Disturbingly sexy. These girls aren’t old enough to count but their skin is showing in the same places of a grown adult’s clothing. The fact that these items are being sold infuriates me because (certain) parents are putting blameless girls into inappropriate clothing. It’s putting a seed in their mind already that says ‘To be loved, you need to improve yourself.’ The image these young girls are receiving is that to rise up to expectations you must show yourself this way. It’s an evil industry that is exposing girls at a young and extremely frail age. We should not parade adolescents this way. They are meant to be children and our job is to protect them from it. Without realizing it, the media is feeding the voices of doubt in their head.

   Photoshop has gone beyond the media and into several family homes. It seems to have plagued every picture that is taken on a camera. Hours have been spent with stay at home moms editing their child on the screen. Maybe a little more blue to their eyes and brightening on their face. Children of the 21^st century will have a distortion of what their memories were. What used to be film is now digital and with all the amazing technology, why should we go back? I am a film baby, one of the last. It may be old school to see five mega pixel photographs, but it was raw. My pictures were not messed with or altered in anyway, they were simply what they were; memories. With this said, I’m not putting down family portraits. They are sweet and treasured snapshots, but what I’m expressing is the urge society gets to edit every single moment of their child. Toddlers are equipped with joyful, wide eyes and babies with a plump, curious face. These are the last days of their life before they develop the insecurities that come with any human being. Parents discourage their children about peer pressure, but then there is an unrealized pressure parents give off when they put together a child that looks how they want. It is a feeling of discontentment about their selves. As a rabidly changing world, the children of our generation need to know, more from action then words, that they are beautifully and wonderfully made. Without that, then they would fall into the dangerous world of deception.

  I remember as a child being self conscious about my weight or my hair. As little of five years old. The fancy clothes told me I was too chubby. The magazines told me I was unfit. That was years ago and it has gotten worse. The advertisers have gotten trickier and now they have so many more electronics to shove negativity in their face. It’s an exhausting challenge we will have to face our entire lives. As parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, friends and neighbors, it is our job to protect these girls from the evil that sneakily makes its way into your house. It is a constant battle and children need to be shielded from these objects and soft wares that try to take away their last chance of a wondrous childhood. They do not need to be perfected on a computer. They do not need to dress more appealing for the judgment of others. These are the last years before they will rip the camera from your hand and criticize their selves or eye the revealing tops at the mall. Innocence has gotten shorter and shorter as the world tries to pry into their minds and destroy it. Parents have the option to hold the door shut. Hold the door shut for as long as we can. It is all we can do.

  

The Other Side of the Train Tracks

  Do we draw an invisible but entirely socially noticeable line when it comes to children on welfare? It seems as if those children are treated differently. Pitied even when you come down to the basics. Families of higher wealth, even the middle class, look down on them. All they see is desperation and misery. Each child has a different story. They are not just the children at the WIC office.

  My family lives on welfare, so that is why I question the attitude of people’s opinion on the lower class. At my house, we have an antennae for the TV set and free wifi from our generous neighbor. In the average household, my house is smaller then usual and the gadgets we don’t own; the hole gaping huge. With the little we own, the freer we are mentally, physically and spiritually released from the burden of things. You would think my little brothers, Isaiah and Levi would miss out of the wonders the world could hold. That maybe they are unfortunate because they do not get to run around in a backyard and watch cable cartoons. An opportunity the population thinks is necessary.

  In the back of our complex there is a train track. The train comes several times a day, making loud but unusually soothing sounds. It is the sounds my brothers perk up at to and beg to watch it. The tracks are literally maybe ten feet away, a fence keeping us between the other sides, where fancy houses stay to rest. The fascination in their eyes! They get to view this massive machine that holds mystery and something they yet cannot grasp. Most children would not view such a wonder. The people of the middle class would probably not even be down our street. America holds sympathy for children like Isaiah and Levi, my genius brothers, but these two boys hold something in their minds that other little children will never get to experience.

  Having less money does not change the children into something inhumane. It is how you look at your surroundings and find God’s beauty in it. While the children with more money are glued to the TV, soaking up Thomas the Train’s strange human face, my brothers are going on walks and crossing the railroad, eagerness in their faces. We look like we have less, when really we have more. There is more connection in my family then I’ve ever felt, in any other situation we have been in. Without all the extra things in life that do not really matter, we can actually be. Isaiah’s is absorbed into a book that isn’t on a tablet while Levi is pretending to be a super hero, mask and cape accessorized. These are moments I cannot get back. These are moment the boys will always remember and love. They won’t remember the TV shows or the types of clothes they wore, but they will remember the people they were with and the fascination they found, down to the form; of life.

College

  Next week I am starting college! My nerves are going crazy right now. I'm nervous, excited and worrying about all the things that could go wrong. (But that's just my usual behavior.)

  In most cases I would still be in high school for another year or so, but I didn't want that crowd so I chose to take my GED once I turned 16. I bought the study book and went hard core studying straight for two weeks. I passed and simply then, I was done with high school. It really is amazing how two weeks and a one test can change the whole course of your future. 

(Have to love cheesy college photos)

  When I've told people about my plan, they've given me funny looks wondering why I didn't want to finish high school the normal way and then go to college. Honestly, I really dislike high school. It made me feel isolated and I was more mature then a lot of the students that went there. I didn't want to wait till I was 18 to start advancing on my life. When I'm 18, I can have my AA while everyone is graduating. I want to go explore the world sooner then later!

  Overall college is going to be a great experience for me. I'll be introduced into a whole different kind of social world with different people and different attitudes. I'm so glad my Mom has encouraged me to follow my dreams. That sounds cliche but really is true! She's helped me every step of the way, honoring what I want to do in life. Thanks Mummy :)

Pepper

Big Poofy Hair

  I have a lot of hair. Lots and lots of hair. And I'm always trying to find something to do with it. Naturally it's curly, so I try to just style it and leave it down. 

  Not now. Not with this scorching weather. If I were to leave it down, I'd have my very own neck sauna and that is just not the style I'm trying to achieve. So I've put it in messy buns and tight ballet buns, ponytails (not my look), anything to get it out of my face. I love my hair, bless it, but it was not made for Arizona. 

  So when I discovered this hair style (I'm sure it's been out there and I was just left in the dark) I knew it was going to be overly used. It's big and poofy and just plain fun. I felt so proud of myself. I got super excited and took pictures of it.

 I'm running out of things to do.

Love,

Pepper