Beautifying Ourselves

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

Psalm 139: 13

     I've spent many hours getting myself ready in front of the mirror to look “captivating" for a guy. I tried to perfect my curly mass of hair and make myself visually thinner so I would be more appealing. My stomach would churn as the distance between my crush and I got smaller and smaller until we were almost face to face. It was my hope for his attention that was painfully obvious by the detail I went through on getting myself ready for this moment.

    Then hope is utterly crushed when he doesn't look at me.

     It’s defeating when I leave, hope draining out like a popped balloon. The time spent mustering up all the beauty God created and hoping to get noticed by it. Get some kind of attention from this person. But when it feels like they don’t see, it feels as if I’m not adequate.

     Every once and a while, I need to reevaluate myself. For example, obsessing over an appearance for a person who I have feelings for and not getting what I wanted from them. I need to take a mental step back from all the energy I've put towards this and see how it’s affecting my life.

      The person could be a great person, but I shouldn't let their disinterest (or at least just not seeing me) be a fault on my part. If they aren't attracted to me then I can’t force it.

     What my point is, it is that when I put makeup, clothes, jewelry on in the morning, it should be for me. Not for someone else, but for me and what I prefer. There’s a scene in a movie where a woman is shopping in a store and comes upon an elegant night dress. Her friend shopping with her encourages the woman to buy it, but the woman says in a rather sad voice, “For who?”

     The friend replies with, “For you.”

     For you. 

     The problem I face is that I should want to look pretty for myself and if someone notices, than I’m flattered. I need to reevaluate my thoughts in the morning and put them in a different direction. What makes me feel beautiful, captivating and stunning?

     For some people, this is easy to do because they are confident or just don’t pressure on themselves. They are enjoying the process of picking out their clothes and applying their makeup with no grand expectations on how the world will respond to their appearance. 

     Than there can be people like me who make up themselves for the person they like. It shouldn't be that way entirely; it should be about making yourself beautiful because you are beautiful.

     If you do have a boyfriend and want look pretty for him, than that’s okay. I’m not discouraging that, it’s just the fact that when we focus all our time and energy for the acceptance and attention of a person.

So, if you like spa days take a spa day and get refreshed. If you like painting your nails, paint them with your favorite polish.  If you like shorts over dresses or are the opposite, wear it because you like them. Don’t wear them for a boy. If he’s the one for you, then he will see your beauty the moment you enter the room. He will see past the makeup on your face and see the true spirit God made you. Simply be beautiful because you were made with a beauty that is unique and shows itself no matter what you are wearing. 

A Brief Note

     September 22 welcomes the first day of fall. The air turns crisp and cool, as if the weather waited for this day to come all year. When the sun goes down it is cool to take night walks around the neighborhood, absorbing the feeling of fall.

     Coffee shops display  large variety of pumpkin, apple, cocoa and spiced drinks to get their customers in the fall spirit. Cakes are swapped for pies. Lemonades for spiced apple ciders. Summer shorts for leggings and closed toed flats. Spunky neon prints for warm plum and mossy greens.

     Fall gives a feeling of community. With potlucks, thanksgiving, and all the events that come with cold weather. Families and friends come together just because. When the leaves turn mahogany and mustard yellow, it sets a mood no other season can. The landscape is visually stunning, stirring the sense of God's magnificence. It’s the Earth way of closing the year with a grand exit, preparing for the next one to come. 

Unintended Intimacy

do not own

There are times when you just don’t want to be that close to a person. For example,

  on the bus after a long day, squeezed up against sweaty Arizonians. Rank air that wraps around germaphobic nostrils. As the bus starts moving, a kind gentleman offers you his seat and you gladly take it. All is well until that feeling when you sit down and realize it’s warm. A toasty imprint of a complete stranger’s underside.

  Unintended intimacy from someone’s body heat on your butt.

This has always weirded me out. Sitting in a chair that a stranger recently occupied and feeling the warmth touch me. I just don’t want to be that close to a stranger, even if they aren’t there anymore. It just feels too close, too personal and too intimate.

  Then there’s the “warm toilet” incident. You know, standing in line in the bathrooms after a movie. Going to sit down when it’s your turn and then it hits you. Warmth. I can’t help but sense it and wish I didn’t.

  But then, if I like the person and they offer me their seat, then it’s just awkward. It’s literally their warm butt heat touching my behind. It’s like snuggling with a ghost, it creeps up on me. I smile politely but sense that underlying closeness. It sounds crazy and probably is, but this is what I’m always thinking when I sit in another person’s chair. An intimate and heated encounter left behind.

  The term “I’ll keep it warm for you” takes on a whole new meaning. 

My Space

If you're like me, the room is a sacred place. I share a room with my sister but I have to have my own area for my things. If not, I get overly stressed. My room is my escape and if I feel like I'm getting smothered, I might go crazy.

This is it...where I do my homework,sleep and work on blog posts.

My favorite place in my room would have to be my desk. It's the place where many stories,drawings,blog post have been created. It was originally my Great Grandmother's and was passed down to me. My Grandpa tells me that she and I were really similar, so it holds a special place with me. 

I also have a map collection. From Europe to Asia, I've collected so many over the summer. It's interesting to see the whole world on the walls of my bedroom. 

Then there is my bed. I do enjoy my bed. I recently got a new comforter and it is the softest fabric I've ever had as a bed comforter. This is a pretty pointless post, but I thought maybe you'd like to see where all the blogging happens! 

What's your favorite place in your room? 

Bento and Ramen

  Here's an eye pleasing post. My sister, mom and I tried out a hole in the wall ramen shop we found online. They have savory ramen and fresh bento that were all at a decent price. The staff was friendly, more so the food was delicious. I will definitely be going there in the future to get my ramen and bento fix. For an after dinner treat, we indulged in a caramel mocha cupcake, yum!  Enjoy these mouth watering pictures!

Is there a must-have food for you? 

Boys and Girls: Why We Can Be Friends

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.

There is a time when boys are boys and girls are girls. When a girl looks at a boy and sees him as a boy. And a boy looks at a girl and sees her as a girl. Not as a potential girlfriend or boyfriend.

  I remember when I was in 2^nd grade there was a boy l liked. I wrote on the inside amongst my other doodles of my math folder that I liked him. He wrote back alongside it and said he did too. It was so innocent, this “crush” I had on him. I didn’t even really “like-like” him. He was just a great friend who I really bonded with. We were so young we only held hands but more out of friendship than anything else.  In 3^rd grade I went to another school but after a year I came back to the school I had previously been to. I was older and the world was bigger than it was two years ago. I saw the boy who was my best friend and he saw me, than announced proudly to his circle of friends that I used to be his “girlfriend”. I was shocked that he said that because I never viewed us that way. I saw our friendship as two people who admired each other. Maybe I was naive (probably since I was seven when i told him I liked him) but in my mind we were just close friends. I saw him as a boy who I liked as a friend and occasionally held hands with. By the way, that didn’t end well because he gave me hand warts, so don’t hold hands with boys! Hold hands responsibly.

  My point is that once we hit a certain age, the innocence of two genders becomes something else entirely. There is an age where boys are friends and then there is an age where they are no longer friends but “boyfriends” or “potential boyfriends”. Or plainly just a threat to our moral compass.

  Alise Wright, a writer talked about cross-sex friendships and how the church and society has made it something that men and women cannot friendships without sexuality: 

     “As children age, this intensifies. Not only do adults place this burden on children, but they begin to place it on themselves. Boys and girls begin to notice attraction and automatically assume that their friendships with the opposite sex, or in some cases the same sex, must have a romantic outcome. Boys and girls begin to look at one another strictly as potential sex partners.”

I’ve been in situations where I've felt this way. That a boy who gives me attention in a positive way could lead to a relationship, not even realizing we could just be friends. to me I think "If he gives me attention he likes likes" me, even if he's just being friendly. 

It brings me again to when we are children. Friendships with boys while being a girl are so innocent. We didn't view the boys as a pathway to sin, failure, sex or other reasons we regard in them now.

  In 5^th grade there was another boy in one of my classes that was my friend. We would goof around sometimes and this lead us to kicking each other’s feet under the table during class. My teacher noticed and announced to the entire class saying “stop playing footsies” and made a grand show out of it. The class laughed but I was mortified. It felt as if my teacher exposed me as someone dirty rather than seeing I was being silly and we were simply playing with each other. Wright also addresses this problem in her article:

     “Additionally, with our desire to keep people pure, we begin to sexualize all physical expressions of love. We make all physical contact suspect by implying that it is the path to something immoral. We make intimacy something to be feared rather than something to be sought after.” 

  There was nothing impure or inappropriate with my actions playing with another classmate who happened to be a boy. In a way my teacher sexualized our intentions and turned it into something way beyond what it originally was.

  Can’t we be friends with girls and boys? Do we have to limit possible amazing friendships because we've been told that deep friendships with the opposite gender leads to impure actions?

Like my friendship with the boy in my math class, he was dear to me. We were both still too young to understand how a girl and boy body fully functioned. There was no lingering expectations or implications in our friendship. We were friends. Great friends. That’s what matters at the end.

" Rather than using fear as a fence to keep us safe, perhaps we can center our friendships on a deep love that keeps us in the center of God’s will for those relationships, which means that we will do what we can to protect our relationship, not abandon it."

-Alise Wright 

To read the rest of the article by Alise Wright you can go here 

One Year Anniversary

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I'm a little late with this, but Would You Like Pepper With That? has been running over a year now. I'm amazed that I've made it this far with my blog. Before, I never made it far with blogging, so I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking to it. Every post I've written has been a lovely adventure and I hope you've enjoyed them as much as I have. I would also like to thank you, for reading my blog and all the wonderful feedback I've received from you all. Plus, thank you for following me!
  Though each blogger is miles apart from the other, it seems as if there is a small community right here.
Thanks again!

Pepper 

Nurse Kellye's Rant

  It seems in the media, quietness is not allowed in order to be seen by the other gender. The media wants us to alter ourselves to become outgoing and flirtatious in order to gain a guy's acceptance. Isn't that what Seventeen magazine is for? If you just peek at the cover, it is clustered with 'Ten Flirty Tips to Win Him Over'. It's a confusing message being sent to girls that is putting pressure on them to change their personality to catch a guy's eye. Then there are times because of a person's reserved or shy manner, whatever it may be, it seems the wall is swallowing them up and that they are purely disappearing.
  Do you ever have those days? Where you're holding in all your emotions and suddenly they all just come out in a rush? I've most certainly had those.
  Watching MASH the other night, I came upon this scene and I could relate to it in so many ways. Sometimes in life a girl will go through the feeling of being invisible to the other gender. I've felt it and I'm sure you have felt it one way or another. This scene seems to sum it up perfectly and puts a perfect topper on all the times I've felt like the wallflower.